Day Four

A month goes by. Full of stomach butterflies and flowers on Sunday mornings. You sure have a way with words, it made me melt like an ice-cream on the fourth of July.

My favorite date, our most memorable one, took place around this time. I convinced you to drive me up to Chattanooga, Tennessee. You said you hated driving there because the traffic is awful, but you went for me. We walked across the bridge, ate at my favorite restaurant downtown, and ended the night sitting on the plaza by the river.

The light from the downtown city was shining like urban stars. The melody of car horns and tires screeching in the background with the low rumble of bass from someone’s radio that was being played too loud in the background. I put my feet in the water and you laughed and chased after my shoe that came off and began to float downstream.

You looked at me. The soft smile you gave me and your kind eyes gave me goosebumps. “I love you,” you whispered under your breath. I looked at you with wide eyes and a racing heart. “What did you just say?” “Nothing,” and you pointed so I would look over at a lone cat wandering by the river, just a little close.  “You love me?” I turned back and asked you. I could feel the blood rushing in cheeks. “So what if I do?” You said nonchalantly. I looked off into the city, trying to comprehend. I had felt unlovable, inadequate, for so long, my whole life, and suddenly, here you are, loving me? “How can you love me,” I had to ask, still not looking at you, “You’ve only known me for a month.” “I just do. A month was long enough for me to know. I love you.” I stared at you speechless as you took  my hand and lead me back to your truck. I fell asleep with my head on your shoulder and your fingers intertwined with mine. I should have told you I loved you then, because I knew; I really did.

My stomach turns every time I think back to that moment. I wish it were on a DVD so I could rewind it over and over again. If I had to pick a single life experience to be stuck in for the rest of forever, that would be it.

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